DIGEST #001 : Women's Empowerment; the stories we tell ourselves and the stories we tell others

The past few weeks have been heavy but equally uplifting and challenging.

We marched in Washington, D.C. for women's rights, the Black Lives Matter movement and Standing Rock.

And what I know to be true is this; collectively, we will change the fucking world that we live in. The more we can come together on common ground, the less likely we'll find reasons to separate us.The stories we tell ourselves and the one's we tell others have a direct impact on the world we live in.

Read on and decide for yourself.

1. ❤️💗 A STORY NO MATTER HOW FACTUALLY TRUE, IS STILL JUST A STORY.

This quote is from Marianne Williamson and I keep repeating it.

I once took an autobiographical writing workshop and the facilitator said "Cyndie, your story is yours to tell and you decide which story you want to tell." Mind. Blown.

We don't need to air it all out to be honest or intentional with each other. We have the right to tell the story that we WANT to.

I grew up on the "wrong side" of the tracks and fairly poor, with a whole of LOVE but no money. I decided when I 13 that I wouldn't be a poor adult, that I'd get an education, and that I would see the world.

But here's the deal, where I come from made me the woman I am. Today. 
I choose to focus on the story of NOW, instead of then. What story are you choosing to live in? Think about that and decide if that story is truly serving you. Today. Remember, no matter how true it is, it's still just another damn story. 

2. ❤💗 TREAT YO' SELF.

I'm officially ready to speak at ALT Summit with my gorgeous girlfriend Tiffany Han next week.

Nails done. Thank you @valleynyc for taking care of my nail business and @hukitchen for taking care of my ❤lunch.

Here's the thing:

A good manicure, a healthy meal and a well fitted button down shirt ...and I'm ready to take on the entire effin' world.

Know what you need to show up.
Treat yourself. Often.
Take care of others.
And then...show the fuck up.
500%...

3. ❤💗 THE UNPOPULAR VOTE.

I was at the Women's March in DC this weekend with 500,000 other extremely pissed off women, men and children. It was exhilarating, powerful and tiring ...all at the same time.

But here's what I didn't expect. The backlash.

After a day of experiencing women of every race supporting other women in varied ways from marching for Black Lives Matter to Standing Rock to Healthcare concerns; I naively expected a shift, albeit a very slow one.

I clicked into Facebook yesterday to a barrage of folks posting things like "if you supported the march, you're then a baby killer" "..."you hate Jesus"...or "I didn't see you all out en masse for the Black Lives Matter march!" Really.

I know this is the unpopular view but can we not find a better platform to communicate our concerns? If change is what you're after, making others feel like shit isn't going to net you the result you hope for. I know some of these are really fucking ridiculous comments, there are others that make a whole lot of sense and need to be discussed in a way that creates a forum for change. I.e. Yes, why aren't more people of all races showing up for Black Lives Matter movement? I'd like to know too.

But can we have the conversation without being accusatory? I don't know the answer but I know that SHAMING anyone isn't going to fix anything either.

I understand the assumptions in all of these statements. I'm a bi-racial Jew (technically) with a white fiancé. No, I'm not religious. No, I don't identify as white, and I certainly know that everyone marched for their own reasons. None of which are my fucking business.

What I do know is this: being unpopular doesn't mean a damn thing but sharing your thoughts and opinions from your heart and soul without placing judgement on others, THAT is how we create change. One conversation, one person at a time.

4. ❤️💗 THE MYTH OF COOL.

Cool is being different than the masses and accepting yourself (and others) because of that, not in spite of that.

Being cool has nothing to do with the clothes you wear, the city you live in, the company you keep, the money in your bank account or how many Instagram followers you have.

Being cool doesn't mean you're a martyr nor a hero. You don't need to be either.

Being cool means being you, exactly as you are.

Shifting.
Stretching.
Growing.
Learning.
Saying sorry.
Getting older.
And moving forward.
With grace.

Do remember that the next time you separate yourself from others and think that OTHER person is so much cooler than you'll ever be. No fucking way.

5. ❤️💗 IT'S OK TO BE AFRAID. DO IT ANYWAY.

Here's the deal. Being fearless is overrated. In my humble opinion, it's also complete 💩bullshit.

Fear is a guide and a trigger. Get used to it + it will teach you things.

Get comfortable being uncomfortable.

Be curious and allow yourself to be vulnerable in the face of fear.

Use fear as a way of knowing that you are knee-deep in greatness.

Use it as tool that allows you to work even harder at whatever it is that you are afraid of.

But for the love of all things holy, do NOT seek fearlessness.

Otherwise, friend, you run the risk of chasing it forever and never doing the work that you're put on this fucking earth to do.

Seek curiosity; not fearlessness.

Are you too afraid to do the thing that you really (in your soul) believe in?

Not sure how to create a business beyond all of the fear?

Waiting for the fearlessness to just "come"..."one day" in order to do that thing that's most important? It won't. But we can work though it. Together.

With love and wisdom from Brooklyn,


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Cyndie SpiegelComment